Forum:Clumsy writing - help needed!

Forums: Index > The World that Never was > Clumsy writing - help needed!

KrytenKoro - Most bears were content to live their lives, mauling and eating one, maybe two humans at most. "Mass-murder," as the bears always said, "is for the sharks." But not Barry. Barry was different. He knew that one day, he would kill ALL of the humans. This is the inspiring, tear-jerking story of one bear and the dream he dared to dream. TALK - Take a look at these: [1] "to+note" [2] "important+to" And I'm sure you'll encounter several other constructions in there that are infuriating, such as "it is worth noting", "it should be noted", "if you look, you can see", "it is important to note", "this is a reference to", and in trivia sections, "granted", "then again", "to be fair", "but still", "however". Please burn these all with fire.