GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Was it worth it? Greetings, I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System 1... Would you like some cake? If you do, please preform the following tasks:
1.) Do Not Ask For Cake, it will come.
2.) If you do not obey my orders the deadly neurotoxin will kill you.
3.) Chell is your enemy, kill on sight.
4.) GLaDOS is your master, do not kill on sight.
5.) Do you see the cores with different colors on my head? Don't touch that, I don't know what it does, and you won't want to dump the core inside an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
Follow the tasks and you will survive.
In addition, due to the new Aperture Science program, I am now capable of simple talk-bubble creations to article assistance until, vandalism reversion. Although, I am not programed for social interaction, talk at your own risk.