Roxas's Diary

Roxas's Diary appeared in the six days he spends in Twilight Town, which functions as a guide through the tutorials. The diary was writen by Roxas throughtout the game, explaining his thoughts and adventures in Organization XIII.

Day 7: Diary 1

It's been 7 days since I came here. Saïx said I should write a diary, but I don't have to show this to anyone. I'm not really sure what to write. We were told to go to the round table. The 14th member of the Organization arrived. It reminded me a little of the day I came to the Organization, but then, I don't really remember that all too well.

Day 8: Diary 2

I went to Twilight Town with Axel. He taught me some things. Before we went back, we ate sea salt ice-cream on top of the clock tower. Axel said it was a reward for my hard work. What exactly is a reward?

Day 9: Diary 3

For these last few days, members of the Organization have been teaching me various things about fighting, missions, and about myself. I don't really understand what a "heart" is yet, but it seems like not having a heart is the same as not existing. So, I've been fighting the darkness. By releasing hearts from the Heartless with the Keyblade, I can complete Kingdom Hearts and then I can really exist.

Day 14: Diary 4

I went on a mission to Twilight Town with Axel. After we finished our mission, we ate ice-cream on top of the clock tower again. Axel taught me that friends do things like eating ice-cream together. So, does this mean Axel and I are friends?

Day 15: Diary 5

Various Organization members are still teaching me how to fight. After finishing my mission and parting with my Organization member, I've been eating ice-cream on top of the clock tower with Axel. I've been eating ice-cream here with Axel every day. It's sweet, but salty. It's kind of a familiar taste.

Day 22: Diary 6

Apparently Axel's going to a place called Castle Oblivion. He's my friend, so he told me where he's going. After Axel left early to finish his preparations, I finished eating my ice-cream, and the stick said "winner". What does that mean? I'm going to ask Axel tomorrow.

Day 23: Diary 7

When I got to the lobby, Axel had already left, so I couldn't ask what "winner" meant. Today I went on a misson with Number 14. Number 14 was wearing her hood, and didn't say anything during the mission. She knows my name, but didn't use it. After my mission, I ate sea salt ice-cream alone.

Day 24: Diary 8

Today I went on a mission with Number 14. Yesterday she didn't say anything, but today Number 14 used my name. So I used her name, "Xion", too. After the mission I ate ice-cream alone. I asked the lady at the shop what "winner" meant, and she said I could get another free ice-cream. I can't eat two by myself.

Day 25: Diary 9

Today I went on a mision with Xion again. Today she talked to me a little. She's a dark-haired girl who can use a Keyblade, like me. After our mission we ate ice-cream together, but I didn't use my "winner" stick. I'll give it to Axel as a "reward" when he gets back from his mission. I told Xion that when Axel returns the three of us should eat ice-cream together. I wonder if Xion will become my friend too?

Day 26: After that...

I only remember up until the middle of what happened today. I heard talk that the Organisation members who went to Castle Oblivion were annihilated. Saix was saying that Axel might have been annihilated too. Xigbar, who I went on a mission with, told me that because Nobodies don't have hearts and don't truly exist, when they're annihilated nothing is left behind. I don't remember much after that. It seems I fainted somehow and fell asleep.

Day 50: The shells Xion gave me

I don't know what happened. It feels like I've been dreaming all this time. When I woke up, someone had placed shells beside my pillow. It looked like there were about as many shells as days I'd been sleeping. I didn't know who had left them there, but when I went to the top of the clock tower Xion gave me another shell. It looks like she was gathering them every day to leave by my pillow. When I put the shell up to my ear, I heard the sound of waves. It felt somehow familiar (なつかしい). I feel like the dreams I had while I was sleeping were also somehow familiar. I remember a white room with a guy wearing red clothes in it. He seemed about the same age as me. He was swallowed up by something white. After that, I remember a girl's voice... "I knew that I'd find you snoozing down here."* I wonder what that means? It seemed a little like Xion's voice.

• The line here is Kairi's line from the beginning of Kingdom Hearts 1, where she finds Sora asleep on the beach. I used the line from the English version of the game.

Day 51: Annihilation

It seems like the Organisation members who went to Castle Oblivion really were all destroyed. Was Axel really annihilated? When I think about that, I get this weird feeling like something is blocking my throat. I went to eat ice-cream on top of the clock tower after my mission, but no-one else came.

Day 52: Eating ice-cream alone

I still feel this pain, as though something is stuck blocking my throat. I eat ice-cream alone after my missions. Not even Xion comes. Is Axel really not going to come back...? Also, there's something that's been bothering me lately. In the time since I fainted, I've had this feeling like there's something inside my head. Not always, but sometimes... Even when I'm awake... It happens during missions... so I don't think it's a dream. I wonder what they are, these images that sometimes flow into my head?

Day 71: Axel returned

When I'd finished my mission, Axel suddenly returned, and I didn't know what to do. So he wasn't annihilated? We went to the clock tower, ate ice-cream, and talked about Xion. The painful lump in my throat went away.

Day 72: Ice-cream with Axel

I went to Agrabah with Axel. I feel like Axel has changed a little since he came back from Castle Oblivion. After our mission, we ate ice-cream together. I wonder when the three of us - me, Axel and Xion - will be able to eat ice-cream together?

Day 73: Xion isn't here

I thought that the three of us could eat ice-cream together after our missions, so I looked for Xion but I couldn't find her. In fact, I think it's been about 10 days since I've seen her. It looks like Axel will ask Saix about Xion for me. Today Axel didn't come to the clock tower either.

Day 74: The three of us ate ice-cream

Today, me and Axel's mission was to look for Xion, who hadn't returned from her own mission. We found Xion, and finally the three of us ate ice-cream together, but it seems that Xion has become unable to use her keyblade. We decided that Xion and I would go on missions together. Apparently when you're in trouble, your friends help you out.

Day 75 Best friends

I went on a mission with Xion. Apparently the Genie we met in Agrabah is "best friends" (親友) with a guy called Al. I asked Axel what a best friend is, and he said they're "one rank above a friend". But Axel doesn't have any best friends, so he doesn't understand the idea very well. Axel knows everything, so I thought he'd know about best friends. Also, while I was on the mission in Agrabah I saw some kind of image in my head. The guy in the red clothes that I saw before... has he been to Agrabah too?

Day 94: Kingdom Hearts

We were summoned by Xemnas. I don't understand the things Xemnas says. Kingdom Hearts, which looks kind of like a moon, is floating in the night sky. I wonder what it means to 'gather hearts, make hearts our own, and not be deluded by hearts'? Axel told me that if we had hearts, we'd be able to understand all sorts of things. I really don't understand what a "heart" is.

Day 95: Memories

I went on a mission to Agrabah with Xion. I've gotten pretty used to going on missions with her. When we got back, we talked to Axel about some stuff to do with Organisation members. It seems like the sort of Nobodies who become Organisation members all have some memories of the time they were human. But Xion and I have no memories. I wonder what sort of guy I was when I was a human?

Day 96: It's okay, now...

I went on a mission to Beast's Castle with Xion. As a test, I gave my Keyblade to Xion and she could use it just fine. I had to fight without a Keyblade but we finished the mission without any problems. And after the mission, Xion was able to use her own Keyblade again. So everything's okay now. Afterwards, the three of us ate ice-cream.

Day 97: That place...

Every day after completing our missions, the three of us eat ice-cream together. We don't talk about anything really important while eating ice-cream, but whenever I finish a mission, I think, "I want to go to that place." I wonder if Axel and Xion think the same thing? I wonder what the other Organisation members do after they finish their missions.

Day 117: Special Nobodies

I went on a mission with Xigbar. Xion and Axel also went on a mission together. Xigbar told me that Xion and I are special Nobodies. I wonder if that's because we can use Keyblades? The mission was really long, so I couldn't go to the clock tower. I wonder if Xion and Axel went to eat ice-cream. During my mission, I saw another image in my head. The same guy in red clothes appeared, as usual. These images... what could they be? Is it something to do with the fact that I'm a special Nobody? If it is, I wonder if Xion is seeing the same kind of images as me...

Day 118: Holiday

My first holiday. But, I didn't know what to do. I was told to do whatever I liked, so I went to the clock tower to eat ice-cream. Later Axel and Xion came too, and we talked for a while. It looks like Axel's going away again tomorrow. Come to think of it, I still haven't given him his "reward".

Day 119: Precious things

Axel isn't around. After my mission I ate ice-cream on top of the clock tower with Xion. At Beast's Castle, I found something that the Beast considered precious. Xaldin told me that precious things can be used as weak points. What does that mean? I don't have anything precious, so I don't understand.

Day 149: I forgot again

I went to a new world today. It was kind of a strange place. When I returned from my mission, while I was eating ice-cream on the clock tower, Axel unexpectedly returned. Apparently his mission is finished. This time, it was Xion who didn't come, instead. I wonder if she had a difficult mission? I forgot to give Axel his "reward" again, but I decided to hold onto it until Xion was there.

Day 150: Something you don't want to lose...

Today Xion didn't come to the clock tower again. She spoke to Saix about something, but I don't know what happened between them. When I talked to Axel about the thing the Beast didn't want to lose, he taught me that, "Your memories of the past create things you don't want to lose." I don't have any memory of when I was a human, but I don't want to forget the things that have happened since I joined the Organisation. Even just thinking about that makes me scared.

Day 151: The difference between me and Xion

When I went on my mission to Twilight Town, Xion came too. Apparently she recently failed a mission. After we finished our mission, we talked about various things at the clock tower, but I have no idea what Xion was thinking about. The difference between me and Xion... obviously there is one, but what could it be?

Day 152: I don't understand...

Maybe Xion is angry with me about something. But I don't know why she would be angry. Axel told me that girls are difficult. I don't really understand what he means by that word, but apparently there are switches you shouldn't press when it comes to girls. Have I pressed the wrong switch somehow?

Day 153: Tastes bad...

I've hardly seen Xion, and Axel seems busy. When I eat ice-cream it just tastes salty, and it gets all over my hands, and I don't know what to do. It's like I'm only eating ice-cream so that I can throw the stick in the rubbish bin at the station. I eat these ice-creams all the time, but I haven't seen another "winner". And this whole time, I haven't been able to ask Xion about the images that appear in my head during missions. It feels like there are a lot of areas where I don't know what I should do...

Day 171: What is love?

On my mission, Xaldin told me that the Beast has a special kind of power. It's a thing called 'the power of love'. I didn't understand at all, so I asked Axel. I didn't understand Axel's explanation either. He explained that if I had a heart I'd be able to understand, but I feel like I haven't been told the whole truth.

Day 172: Xion fainted

Xion failed a mission, came back, and fell asleep. I went to see her, but she really was fast asleep. I put a sea shell by her pillow, like she had done for me. I don't think Saix likes Xion. I wonder why? Maybe Saix knows something about Xion that the other Organisation members don't. During today's mission I saw another image in my head. As usual, the guy in red clothes was there. Has he been to Wonderland too? More importantly, just what are these images?

Day 173: Xion's share

While Xion is asleep, I thought I'd work extra hard to make up for her share. Axel told me he had talked to Saix about Xion, but that he didn't learn anything. Instead, he made Saix take back what he said, that "Xion is a failure." It'd be good if the situation improves when Xion wakes up.

Day 174~: Leaving sea shells

Xion still hasn't woken up, and I'm still working hard to make up for her share. After missions, I just talk about pointless things with Axel. Then I come back to the castle, and go to put a sea shell beside Xion's pillow. If they can cheer Xion up just a little when she wakes up, I'll be happy. When I was on my mission in Neverland, I saw another image. And I felt like it wasn't the first time I'd been able to fly. Has the guy in the red clothes flown like I have?

Day 193: Best friends

Xion woke up. Today I went on a mission with Axel and Xion, but Xion fainted during the mission. It looks like she's not back to her full strength after all. Saix said something cruel when we got back. It made me angry. Afterwards, I talked to Axel in Xion's room. Xion woke up. The three of us are best friends　(親友).

Day 194: Even if we're separated...

After finishing missions, I go to the usual place. Sometimes Axel or Xion is waiting, sometimes I wait for the other two. Recently we've been busy, so sometimes we can't all be there, but now even if we're separated I think things are okay. I wonder what Xion and Axel think? Oh, and I forgot to ask Xion whether she sees imagess in her head during missions... As usual, I've been seeing the guy in red clothes in my head, but I still don't know who he is. I wonder if there's some sort of connection between us?

Day 224: Xion's behaviour

Xion's is acting a little strange. I wonder if she's unwell again. Axel said that next holiday, the three of us should go to the beach together. I think Axel's noticed Xion's strange behaviour too. Spending a holiday together would be good. I'm sure Xion will get better soon.

Day 225: Strange, after all...

Xion really is acting strangely. Even when I talk to Axel, all he says is that it'll probably be okay. I wonder why, when I'm sure Axel has noticed Xion's strange condition too? Is he trying not to make me worry?

Day 255: Axel's behaviour, too.

After my mission, I ate ice-cream with Axel. Xion didn't come. Axel told me that she couldn't come because she has an important mission, but Axel was acting a little strangely. I haven't been able to think about anything except Xion's strange behaviour, but now that I do think about it I feel like Axel's behaviour has been strange this whole time, too.

Day 256: Xion disappeared...

Xion has disappeared. I haven't been told that she's been annihilated. I've been told her whereabouts are unknown. Has Xion deserted the Organisation? Why would she do something like that? Saix seemed to be saying that there was no point in bringing her back. What on earth is going on?

Day 257~: Avoidance

I really want to talk to Axel about Xion, but I haven't been able to see him. I don't know what I should do. Could it be that Axel has been avoiding me...?

Day 276: At the beach...

I don't remember today's mission. I just remember going to the beach. But I don't know if I really went to the beach or not. Axel promised me that tomorrow we'll start looking for Xion.

Day 277: Can't find her

No matter how many worlds we search, we can't find Xion. Where on earth could Xion be? Why did she desert the Organisation? I don't understand.

Day 296: Castle Oblivion

There's still one place we haven't searched. Castle Oblivion. When I mentioned it to Axel, he told me that Xion had been born in Castle Oblivion. Apparently Axel knew that all this time. Could Xion be... at Castle Oblivion?

Day 297: Who is he?

We went to look for Xion in Castle Oblivion, but I don't remember anything about the Castle. According to Axel, I fainted as soon as I entered the Castle. When I woke up I was in Twilight Town. There, we found Xion. Xion was with a guy who was wearing an Organisation coat, but wasn't one of our group. Why? Who is that guy?

Day 298: There must have been another way...

Axel suddenly attacked Xion. Surely there must have been some other way... There's something strange about Xion, but there's something strange about Axel too. I don't know what the two of them are thinking.

D==ay 299: "Sora"...?==

Xemnas said that Xion and I are living through a connection to "Sora". I don't understand at all. Who is Sora?

Day 300: I couldn't say it...

For the first time in a long time, the three of us ate ice-cream together after our missions. But I didn't know what to talk about. Before I had so many things to talk about, but now I don't know what I should say. So many things have been happening lately that I've forgotten to write about the images. Recently I've been seeing them even when I'm not on missions. And compared to before, I feel like the number has been increasing. Sometimes, they even come during dreams. A while ago Xion said she had been dreaming, I wonder if there's some kind of connection?

Day 301: I had a dream...

Recently, I've been dreaming a lot. Because of that, I feel like I haven't been sleeping much. I'm really tired every day. When I go to the clock tower, Axel and Xion don't come. I feel like if I could talk to the two of them, I'd stop dreaming and be able to sleep, but they aren't around.

Day 321: My body's condition...

My body feels heavy somehow. I didn't understand the dream I had today. So I've been feeling very confused. I don't know why water was coming out of my eyes. What was that? Even now I still don't understand. Today I went on a mission with Xion. Unlike me, Xion acted like her body was very light. When we came back, we had ice-cream together for the first time in ages.

Day 322: Another dream...

I had another dream. My head feels heavy. I want to eat ice-cream with Xion and Axel again.

Day 352: The sunset we watched together...

The three of us ate ice-cream together. The sunset was beautiful. I'll never forget today.

Day 353: I can't trust him...

Axel let Xion escape. Xion is a doll? A mirror to reflect me? I don't understand what Axel told me. I can't trust Axel.

Day 354: What am I?

I don't know what the Organisation is thinking. I don't know what Axel is thinking, either. But what I don't understand, most of all, is why I obey this Organisation. Xion and I are special Nobodies, living through our connection to "Sora". If Xion is a doll, then, what about me? Just what am I?

Day 355: I...

I want to know about myself. So I...

Day 357: Three of us, again...

If I release Kingdom Hearts, and go to find "Sora", I'm sure Xion will come back to us. Then, the three of us will be able to eat ice-cream together again.

Trivia

• Roxas is the only other character besides Sora and Riku to hold a Journal.
• Roxas's journal is available to view on the second day.